Max has been at G&Gs for 9 days now. Such a long time for us to be apart. I miss our early morning cuddles, when he calls me to his room and in all his sleep-ruffled glory wraps his arms around me and tells me that he's had a good sleep (regardless of the night - which is really quite sweet!)
I've called every day. I've had lengthy conversations with his sister about every little thing that's happened, every little adventure that they've had while they've been gone. She tells me she really wants to come home, and that she really, really misses me. Sometimes she chokes up a bit, overwhelmed by being away from me.
Max spoke to me once... the first time I called. He told me he was having fun, said he loved me, and passed the phone back to his sister. Short and sweet. Everyday I ask if he wants to talk to me. Everyday he says no. It makes me smile.
I hate the phone. It's a strange device to me - empty voices (albeit often of loved ones) coming from nowhere. There's no context, no continuity, truly no rhyme or reason. Max is all about context, continuity, and reason.
Which is why I smile when the little boy I love so much doesn't want to talk to me. It's not about me, it's about him. And his ever increasing sense of self... knowing that he's safe to say no to me when he doesn't want to do something. Knowing that sometimes I'll help him to do it (if it's something that needs to be done) but also knowing that I'll let him have the space he needs and wants to be himself. Just the way he is. Without guilt. Without secret wanting to change him.
I know unreservedly that Max loves me. As he knows I love him. And in the same manner in which I would never hurt Max's feelings on purpose, I know he wouldn't hurt mine. And he doesn't.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
brave
To some people, there needs to be an extreme act to be labelled brave. They might, for example, say "jumping out of an airplane is brave" or "mountain climbing is brave".
Max went to his second sleepover last night. He had his cow, some of his Webkinz, and his little sister for support. I just got off the phone with our friend who kept them overnight, and he had a great night. I feel very proud of him, for stepping outside of his comfort area, for trying something new, for behaving so well while he was gone.
My definition of brave was expanded this morning, to include sleepovers. Wow.
Max went to his second sleepover last night. He had his cow, some of his Webkinz, and his little sister for support. I just got off the phone with our friend who kept them overnight, and he had a great night. I feel very proud of him, for stepping outside of his comfort area, for trying something new, for behaving so well while he was gone.
My definition of brave was expanded this morning, to include sleepovers. Wow.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
On the go!
Max needs to be in motion... it's pretty hard for him to sit still!
It started young, this need for speed. Max came out holding up his own head, and when we inflicted tummy time apon him, he would move his arms and legs as though he was swimming. And speaking of swimming, he loved being in the water. The freedom to move his arms and legs at the same time provoked the biggest smiles that he had!
Once he figured out rolling over, a little over two months, he was never in the same place I put him down. He loved the Jolly Jumper, getting heights that NBA players might envy. He never liked the stroller much, except to nap, but loved the baby carriers, again because he could move his limbs in time with my walking. Plus he always loved the closeness that carriers allow.
Sitting up did not lead to crawling in our house. Instead, it lead to pulling up on anything and everything he could reach. Pulling up quickly lead to cruising around, which in no time at all became walking. He wasn't even 10 months when we started going for little walks around the neighbourhood, and I realized that holding my child's hand was one of the most reinforcing feelings I had ever experienced.
Running followed walking. Climbing followed running. My boy was so full of life when he was free and running! Parks became a daily destination, and Dan built an amazing fort in our backyard.
Max is almost 6, and he gets his kicks now by riding his bike, taking the scooter around the block, and playing hopscotch with his sister. I've stopped thinking that all this movement is disruptive, and rather have begun to look at it for it's true purpose... a means through which Max can regulate himself. A way to express what he's feeling when words can't quite capture it. And it's still as endearing as ever.
It started young, this need for speed. Max came out holding up his own head, and when we inflicted tummy time apon him, he would move his arms and legs as though he was swimming. And speaking of swimming, he loved being in the water. The freedom to move his arms and legs at the same time provoked the biggest smiles that he had!
Once he figured out rolling over, a little over two months, he was never in the same place I put him down. He loved the Jolly Jumper, getting heights that NBA players might envy. He never liked the stroller much, except to nap, but loved the baby carriers, again because he could move his limbs in time with my walking. Plus he always loved the closeness that carriers allow.
Sitting up did not lead to crawling in our house. Instead, it lead to pulling up on anything and everything he could reach. Pulling up quickly lead to cruising around, which in no time at all became walking. He wasn't even 10 months when we started going for little walks around the neighbourhood, and I realized that holding my child's hand was one of the most reinforcing feelings I had ever experienced.
Running followed walking. Climbing followed running. My boy was so full of life when he was free and running! Parks became a daily destination, and Dan built an amazing fort in our backyard.
Max is almost 6, and he gets his kicks now by riding his bike, taking the scooter around the block, and playing hopscotch with his sister. I've stopped thinking that all this movement is disruptive, and rather have begun to look at it for it's true purpose... a means through which Max can regulate himself. A way to express what he's feeling when words can't quite capture it. And it's still as endearing as ever.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
a brand new baby
Max is our first child. He was born after a 32 hour labour, and the thrill of holding him for the first time is one that I will never forget. He was a beautiful baby. People stopped me on the street to comment on how lovely he was. He was never an easy baby, but he was mine, and he was perfect. He slept on my chest like a baby koala sleeps on its mama, and loved to be with me or his father more than anything.
Max hit many of his milestones quite early. He rolled over at 6 weeks, he sat up at 4 1/2 months, he never really crawled, but walked at 9 1/2 months. And boy did he walk!! He had little baby friends from my mothers group, and was a happy, social little guy.
Max's vocabulary was large. He labelled everything in his world, with a word and a finger point. He was absolutely engaging - we couldn't get enough of him. His smile lit up whatever room he was in, the little happy dance he did, intially with just his arms, followed by bouncy little jumps was the sweetest thing we'd seen.
He thrived in a home daycare setting, where he was one of 3 toddlers being cared for. His best friend to this day is one of the kids he spent that time with.
What a spectacular baby he was!
Max hit many of his milestones quite early. He rolled over at 6 weeks, he sat up at 4 1/2 months, he never really crawled, but walked at 9 1/2 months. And boy did he walk!! He had little baby friends from my mothers group, and was a happy, social little guy.
Max's vocabulary was large. He labelled everything in his world, with a word and a finger point. He was absolutely engaging - we couldn't get enough of him. His smile lit up whatever room he was in, the little happy dance he did, intially with just his arms, followed by bouncy little jumps was the sweetest thing we'd seen.
He thrived in a home daycare setting, where he was one of 3 toddlers being cared for. His best friend to this day is one of the kids he spent that time with.
What a spectacular baby he was!
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